Not long ago I was woken by the Spirit of Truth early one morning and taken on a journey, my journey …
The journey was a belief-journey, one I walked from being a child to where I found myself today ... an apocalypse ...
My journey somehow emerged from a recent post I had posted, titled Here is how it ends. That post is all about the apokalypsis, which actually means to lay bare, to disclose and make visible to all, to reveal fully.
I’ll start this account of my journey by confessing that I never really knew a father, even though I had one (naturally, of course).
As a child, I grew up in a house with much daily turmoil. There was constant fighting between my father and mother, even physical and much of my childhood was shrouded in a cold-war-atmosphere that prevailed for indefinite periods.
Let me describe my physical father
Many people who knew him would say that the resemblance between him and me is striking. Yet, at an early age I had already decided that I didn’t want to be like him.
My father grew up in Johannesburg, South Africa and was the youngest and only male of five siblings. He was somewhat spoiled, especially by my grandmother. His era was one of male dominance and rigid religious prescripts and sanction and this might have been the reason why he and my mother did not divorce (or were allowed to divorce) for many years.
I remember my father not being involved at any level with our day-to-day upbringing chores, although he did provide (together with my mother, who also had a day job) for shelter, food and education (the expected role). There was never any physical relationship between him and myself or my sister in any affectionate way. We did spend a few holidays away as a family, but the relationship was always distant, not just between him and my mother, but also between him and his children.
Just before I turned 21, my parents finally divorced and went their separate ways. Each married again and involved themselves with their new families.
Later in life, when I approached 50, I took my father in and started taking care of him because he became destitute. Still later he became fragile and all together unable to look after himself. This was a period in my life that I never hoped for and regretted because of our clashing characters, the many fallouts we had and the way in which I badly reacted to it.
The relationship never (re)kindled and he passed away early one morning in March 2021 in the flatlet that we had annexed for him.
The father I never knew
A few years before we took my father in, another relationship ignited with the Father I never knew (I posted about it here and various other places on the blog).
And that joyful journey began.
A soon as the Spirit of Truth caused me to realise the goodness-only heart of Abba, my journey gained real momentum and I was set for a new awakening.
My early-morning-wake-up-journey on that delightfully dreamful day significantly started with the all-good notion.
All good
My deepest comprehension came when I realised that Daddy-God (Abba) was all good all of the time. I know this sounds very cliche and very charismatic, but to me it was a fundamental truth that I never knew.
This truth also formed the starting point of my dream, the very start of my journey.
And we started at the beginning. Abba showed me in the book of Genesis how that in creation, only good had existed before evil came.
In the account of creation (God creating in seven literal days), in every instance when God created, He took a moment to observe that it was good (in the Hebrew - ṭôḇ; and the ancient pictograph - surrounded with the nail in other words [Yah’shua] in the house). Let’s see:
Gen 1:4 - creating light - ṭôḇ
Gen 1:10 - creating heaven and earth - ṭôḇ
Gen 1:12 - creating vegetation - ṭôḇ
Gen 1:18 - creating sun, moon and stars - ṭôḇ
Gen 1:21 - creating land and sea creatures - ṭôḇ
Gen 1:25 - creating land animals - ṭôḇ
God created by His Word (Yah’shua), speaking. It is interesting that when God created the living creatures he spoke to the very medium whence they would sprout forth from, for instance, let the waters bring forth … and let the earth bring forth … But when He created mankind, he spoke to Himself saying: Let us make man in our image …
So, everything in every instance was observed as being good (ṭôḇ), except man. After having created man and having blessed man and given man dominion, God’s observation changed and He observed and, behold, it was exceedingly good (mᵊ'ōḏ - mighty powerful way and ṭôḇ - surrounded with the nail in other words [Yah’shua] in the house) …
No sign of evil.
Everything was good and exceedingly good … up until the very last verse of Genesis 1.
And man became a living soul [Gen 2:8]. In Hebrew this is the word nep̄eš or נָפַשׁ. Although nep̄eš is translated soul, its meaning is far wider. It is a living creature, a person with life, appetite, a free mind, a free living being, with desire, emotion, passion and free will. The ancient pictograph provides even better insight into this being. The images spell out: seed; mouth; and consume. Remarkably, it denotes the very purpose of man on earth, which is to rule - every word (seed) spoken will consume.
And that is how it was.
The journey through the trees
In the induction process that follows, Abba takes man through the garden, the world that He had created and given to this Adam person to rule over. He introduces him to all the trees (ʿēṣ from the primitive root word עָצָה of which the pictograph depicts: what the eye hooks onto (focus). [Interestingly, the root word gives the answer (ה - Grace), but the derived word leaves it open].
So, Abba provides for free choice.
He introduces him to all that he might behold and consume and then firstly to the Tree-of-life. This exact phrase occurs ten times in the old testament. It occurs in a referred way 54 times.
And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
Enters another tree
For the first time we encounter the word evil in Genesis 2:9. The word for evil is raʿ. It appears in the old testament exactly 666 times. According to the Strongs concordance raʻ, rah; from H7489; bad or (as noun) evil (natural or moral):—adversity, affliction, bad, calamity, displease(-ure), distress, evil((-favouredness), man, thing), + exceedingly, × great, grief(-vous), harm, heavy, hurt(-ful), ill (favoured), + mark, mischief(-vous), misery, naught(-ty), noisome, + not please, sad(-ly), sore, sorrow, trouble, vex, wicked(-ly, -ness, one), worse(-st), wretchedness, wrong. (Including feminine raaah; as adjective or noun.) The pictograph reveals - to perceive to be the highest.
Let’s note that it is not called the tree-of-the-knowledge-of-evil.
Rather, it is the mixture. It is called the tree-of-knowledge-of-good-and-evil.
Just that, right there should have our attention immediately.
It is intimacy with the good and the evil at the same time.
So, we don’t have any account of mankind having eaten from the Tree-of-life before they were enticed to take and eat from the tree-of-knowledge-of-good-and-evil.
Also, until that point they had only known good and had nothing contrary to compare it with and had no desire to mix it up with anything opposite.
Only good.
And it is not the tree-of-the-knowledge-of-good, implying that should man eat of this tree, he would gain some intimacy with good. No!
Eating from the Tree-of-Life means that the fruit becomes part of man and man becomes part of that Life living inside of Him.
The exact phrase Tree-of-life occurs ten times in the old testament. It occurs in a referred way 54 times. Here is how the exact phrase occurs 3 times in Genesis, 3 times in Revelation and four times in the book of Proverbs:
Outside of the book of Genesis and the book of Revelation, the exact phrase occurs only in Proverbs (and not 3, but 4 times). Proverbs are attributed to the wisest man that ever lived, King Solomon. We’ll look at the Proverbs occurrences later to tap into that wisdom.
In the Genesis account man is introduced to the Tree-of-life and shortly after, fallen man is prohibited to eat of the Tree-of-life as soon as he had eaten from the tree-of-knowledge-of-good-and-evil.
In Revelation the splendour and qualities of the Tree-of-life is emphasised and man who overcomes is encouraged to eat from the Tree-of-life.
Going on through the journey ...
Up until Genesis 2:9 it was all good.
The fruit comes with a warning
But, man was warned. And יהוה Elohim commanded the man, saying, “Eat of every tree of the garden, but do not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for in the day that you eat of it you shall certainly die.. [Gen 2:16-17 TS2009]
Let us also remind ourselves that before they took and ate their world and themselves were totally free from sin (formlessness, missing the mark - see this post on sin and this one).
Man was already created in the image of Abba and functioned and ruled in the very image of Abba. There was nothing amiss and no shortcoming. There was no defect, no flaw and no imperfection. And there was no misunderstanding.
And there was a river
In a peculiar way the Genesis account (now in verse 10) for the first time zooms out of the garden describing the river that flows out of Eden (Eden is fulfilment or עֵדֶן, depicting - perceive the door of life, somehow alluding also to the exit of life).
The river (nāhār or נָהָר depicting - life reveals the highest) is a stream and it always flows towards or away …
Once it is out of the garden, the main river parted into 4: The name of the first [is] Pison [increase]: that [is] it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where [there is] gold; And the gold of that land [is] good: there [is] bdellium and the onyx stone. And the name of the second river [is] Gihon [bursting out]: the same [is] it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia. And the name of the third river [is] Hiddekel [rapid]: that [is] it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river [is] Euphrates [fruitfulness]. [Gen 2:11-14 KJV]
Indeed, the door leading away from Life in the place of fulfilment, that reveals the Highest Himself, does so increasingly, bursting rapidly to the incentives of the world outside.
The Tree-of-life
The Tree-of-life is the centre of it all. It stands in the middle of paradise. Because of man's choice to have intimacy with good and bad, he was prevented to take part of the Tree-of-life and lto continue to live in this formless, ill-defined way forever.
Yet, after the finished work of Yah’shua man is encouraged to take part and eat of the Tree-of-life. Now, we find that in Revelation those called (the ekklesia, see this post) are encouraged. Revelation is distinct. The Tree-of-life is for:
Those who have an ear and listen what the Spirit is saying to the ekklesia [Rev 2:7];
To him that overcome [Rev 2:7] (see my post on who is the one who overcome);
Every season and situation, even healing. It fruits in many ways and it never stops fruiting [Rev 22:2];
It is for those who do His commandments [Rev 22:14] (to understand, it is crucial to relook my previous post on what are commandments). The ones who have the right to take part of the Tree-of-life, are the ones who let Yah’shua be their conclusion, their finished work, their purpose, goal, state of being, the end-goal, the One that Who is sought and turned to in every way.
Spoken in truism, maxim … proverbs. The words of wisdom.
Proverbs 3:18 - The Tree-of-life is the end goal of those who seek Wisdom, gain understanding, treasure it and hold fast onto it. What Solomon says here are the exact same words contained in Revelation 22:14, but he cleverly brings in a beautiful anthem song psalm that he had learned from his father, David in Psalm 16:11 that says: You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore. [AMPC]
Proverbs 11:30 - The whole of this chapter expounds on righteousness with many attributes and truths that are masterly contrasted to the opposing way. Of course we know that we are cloaked with Righteousness Himself because of His finished work. We can not obtain this state of being in any other way. So, Solomon says the opposing way is to trouble your own house and inherit the wind. But the fruit of the Tree-of-life is righteousness.
Proverbs 13:12 - Solomon indulges in numerous proverbial wordplays with wonderful wisdoms applicable in our lives, but in the middle of all this he captures two synonyms frequently used for Yah’shua in the New Testament, Hope and the Word. In verses 12 and 13 he says: Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but [when] the desire [desire or taavah is the object of one’s desire, referring to Yah’shua] cometh, [it is] a tree of life. Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed: but he that feareth the commandment shall be rewarded. Remember what we said about reward in the previous post? Yip, it says it all!
Proverbs 15:4 - This chapter Solomon dedicated to the power of words. Yes, life and death is in the power of the tongue (see this post for more details and this one; and this one; and many others on the blog). And above all, Yah’shua is the Word of God! Along all the life lessons that Solomon translates into words here, he makes the central statement in verse 4, saying: A wholesome [healing curing] tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit. Indeed, we should guard our hearts with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life. [Pro 4:23]
The dream of dreams
Let me get back to my dream.
Apart from Abba taking me through the journey of how matters unfolded since creation, I was more prominently shown how that whole human formless situation was turned around and totally terminated by the finished work of Yah’shua.
My personal journey is one where I have travelled from a rigid, religious and highly sanctioned conviction, formed by my religious world and society alike, towards total freedom in Christ.
Once I had believed that every personal deed of mine had an outcome on my eternal salvation. I believed, as I was taught from a very young age, that the ten commandments and the Bible was a rule-book that should never be deviated from or contradicted at any time because God was an angry Father and no one ever knew what He was capable of. We were told that our Father in Heaven was always distant and far, fickle and jealous. He may or may not have heard your prayers and His time was not our time and He might not even hear your prayer, ever. Distance and delay and uncertainty.
And it all corresponded with what I knew to be about my earthly father. And I believed it.
It took a journey preceded by a series of decisions that I still am not sure how and why I made them to fully realise who my Abba really was. My advantage was that my wife, Charelene and I embarked on this journey simultaneously. Looking back now, I can only see how our hands were held tightly by the Spirit of Abba and that once the Still Small Voice had spoken, it could never again be silenced.
And so, we dwelled through the trees and the journey got momentum and the path became clear and we walked in agreement.
Ever grateful.
I don’t believe that my dream has ever stopped and the wonderful pilgrimage of truth and joyfulness continues.
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